A Day in the Life

I’m sure you wonder how I spend my days, and you’d probably rather hear it from me than Mom and Dad. Here’s a day in the life of your favorite puppy:

6:00 am – Tummy rumbles. That means it’s time to eat, but Mom and Dad are sleeping and I’m hungry. Plus, duty calls. Hmm…if I lick them in the face, they’ll be sure to wake up. (Lap, lap….groan). Perfect, they’re awake.

6:05 am – I take care of my Number 1-2 punch and race up the stairs, where I patiently sit to have my leash taken off.

6:07 am – Then I’m off! Straight to my bowl. I’ve been waiting for this moment since 5 pm the previous night. I swear these humans starve me. Oh well, I’ll take what I can until my next feeding.

6:10 am – Get back in bed. Apparently Mom and Dad don’t like to wake up this early so playtime will have to wait.

7:00 am – Okay, playtime can’t wait any longer. Time to get up. I’ll try something new. I think I’ll walk on Mom’s face and lick Dad’s pillow. That oughta get’em up.

7:01 am – My tactics have obviously worked. I’ve gotten one of them up. Depends on the day who it is. If it’s Dad, he’s either watching Sportscenter or Boy Meets World, so we can play a little game of tug o’ war. But if it’s Mom, she’s watching the Today show and doing Pilates. I get tired just watching her do all that bendy stuff and I’d rather chew on her yoga mat anyway.

8:00 am – Whoever’s with me is wide awake by now. Know what that means?

8:00 – 10:30 am – Snoozin’

10:30 am – Mom or Dad normally leaves by now. If it’s both of them, that means more snoozin’ in my crate. Just before they leave I whine and bark as if I don’t want them to go, but we all know that’s a joke. It just makes them feel better, especially Dad. He’s a softy.

Whenever Mom or Dad takes a shower they take me with them (as if it’s my favorite part of the day). If I’m in Dad’s bathroom, he lets me lay on his towel (or I grab it off the vanity). I’ve even got my own memory foam mat that Grandma Michelle bought for Dad me. Super comfy. Mom doesn’t have memory foam, but she’s got frilly mats that I can chew on. If that’s not enough, I’ll scavenge for the real treasure: underpants.

11:50 am – I head over and lay by the kitchen. Yes, I know it’s not noon (Mom and Dad constantly remind me), but it never hurts to try. I learned that from my Uncle Koby.

12:00 pm – It’s all a blur. I hear food poured into my bowl and then the bowl is set on the ground. I don’t remember much after that until I’m left licking an empty bowl. I SWEAR I’m getting gypped.

1:00 – 4:00  pm – This usually consists of whatever. Some naps. Some play time. If I’m really lucky, I can get Mom and Dad to take me in the car somewhere. I love the McDonald’s drive-thru. All this trouble for a large Diet Coke? Totally worth it. I love hearing the cashier ladies ‘Oooh’ and ‘Aaah’ over me, except they’ll get in trouble if they pet me, so I make them look at a distance.

5:00 pm – Dinnertime. You’d think I’d be excited about this, seeing anything with food makes me insane, but it’s the last time I’ll be fed by these stingy humans until the next morning. Oh well, I guess I’ll eat it.

After dinner, Mom and Dad take me on a walk. This my last chance to do my doo-ty, so I control how the long walks last. Depends on the route. If we take the trails, I normally like to take my time. There’s lots of good things I can get my mouth on. Sticks, trash, goose poop. Whatever fits. I enjoy these walks and all, but I’m still too small to go very far before I begin to tire, so business gets taken care of and if I’m lucky, I’ll get carried some of the way home.

7:00-9:00 pm – I let Mom and Dad have the TV so they can watch their shows. Weirdos. If they’re not watching TV, they’re taking attractive pictures of me.

9:00 pm – I retire to my crate or whatever’s most comfy. I’m not old enough to watch what’s on after 9.

If I’m on the couch, I make Mom or Dad carry me to bed.

Then it’s night time. I get to sleep in the big bed. You’d be surprised how much room I take up. Sometimes it’s just nice to sprawl out. I obviously had a busy day, so I need to be as comfortable as possible. Especially since I’ll just be getting up and repeating it all over again.

What are your days like? Busy and fun-filled (but not food-filled) like mine? Come on people, let me hear your barks! I want to read about you as much as you like to read about me.



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