You all know that Mom’s biggest fear is birds, and Dad hates balls of long, dark hair. You know, the ones you can find in shower drains? I guess everyone’s afraid of something, but you’re probably wondering what scares me. Good guess, but no, it is most certainly not “The Sound of Music” like the title of this post might lead you to believe. I happen to love barking along with those kids and that nun on the hilltops of Austria, but that’s beside the point. Here’s what I’m most afraid of:
Okay, before you get your fur in a bunch, let me explain. I love people. I don’t know why, but for some reason I lose control. Literally, my bladder lets loose, and my butt wiggles to the point where my rib cage is sore from my tail slapping it so hard. And sometimes I lose my breath because I’m pulling on my leash, trying to inch closer to an ear rub or some nice pats. So it’s not just people; it’s strange people or people doing strange things.
Mom and Dad like to take me on walks at night around the campus. One night we came up on a couple, and I started feeling a twitch. My tail was just about ready to get going when we got closer. Just as they came to pet me, I freaked. I barked so loud because the one on the left was a tall, dark, shadowy figure. And he was wearing something on his head. A little creepy if you ask me. I’ve seen the movies.
Another night, they took me to the fireworks show with another lad, Nathan. I’ve never heard anyone talk like him before (he’s British), but he’s a cool guy. Tons of people were there. I was in heaven, but Dad made us sit where no one was around. Total bummer, until they brought out a rawhide. They thought it’d keep me company during the show. Apparently my other canine friends can’t handle them. I was totally fine. That rawhide kept me busy during the entire show. I only barked a little bit. Until the end of the show… Some little girl came out of nowhere running and twirling one of those light-up toys. So I barked…a lot. Probably even bared my teeth a little.
I even made her scream, but that’s what she gets for running around with something I’d never seen before.
My cousin Blake says it’s normal. He barks at people ALL the time, but I know Mom and Dad don’t want that to keep on happening or else they wouldn’t be able to take me anywhere.
Next: Things with wheels
Again, let me clarify. You’ve read about my road trips and adventures in the car, so it’s not those, which kind of freaks Mom and Dad out. I guess they’re worried I’ll run into one or something. It’s everything else with wheels. Bicycles, strollers, scooters, golf carts. I just wished they’d stop moving! People shouldn’t be allowed to move that fast, especially on bicycles. I see people on them, and I just want to lick them, but that dang thing with wheels gets in the way, and before you know it, they’ve blown right by me. They take all the fun out of it. Same thing with scooters and golf carts. I guess I only bark at strollers because they have little kids in them, and I know they just want to pull my tail.
Last: Loud Things
Okay, if fireworks don’t do the trick then what does? I’ll tell you what. Washer/dryer, vacuum and the hair dryer. Every once in a while Mom and Dad will wash what sounds like a ton of rocks. All the banging and clanging hurts my sensitive little ears, so I’m left with nothing else to do but bark my head off (even though they shut the laundry room door). As for the vacuum, that thing’s just plain scary. Ever since I watched “The Brave Little Toaster” with Dad, I try to get as far away as possible.
And if that’s not bad enough, Mom puts her hair dryer in my face all the time. Now you really know why my whiskers look funny. She singes the ends off with that hot air blaster. Don’t believe every word you read.
Those might not sound entirely terrible to you, but I have to give props to Mom and Dad. They’ve done a pretty good job of helping me, feeding me Cheerios during these scary times. They’re just preparing me for round two. I’ve already gone through my first fear period, but from what I keep hearing from Mom and Dad, most puppies go through two of these “fear periods.” They’re waiting for the second one to kick in around my next month-birthday. I’ve heard this quote that I’ll have to keep in mind when that time comes around, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” Except the guy that said it was in a chair with wheels. Not sure if I can trust him or not.
So I’ve told you my fears. What are you all most afraid of? Is anyone scared of something that’s even a little embarrassing? Please share! I’d love to
read hear from Mom and Dad what you have to say.